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Sophia's Garden 5 Toad's Gift

More surprises appeared in the night darkness. Just before dawn a toad was surprisingly serene as we approached it's perch, considering it's mortal enemy Sophia's dog walked by my side. From a mossy round boulder it sang to us in flute like tones, "The journey can overcome you, do not fear, peace will be your boat and Sophia will guide your sail".

Walking further the stones turned to sand and then dunes of sand seemed to pull my feet deeper into a hot beach. I followed Dog on all fours, crawling on my hands and knees. Uncertain of where we were crawling I became attentive to the changing ground under my hands and knees. Heat turned to moisture then coolness. Firm sand became soggy and floppy like lily pads. I was soon floating in cool water from one reed mat to another. I wondered who had woven these strange stepping stones. The function of these floating mats was unclear as they were too fragile to support much weight. Yet they appeared sacred in the wet void. There ahead of me I saw the toad hopping from one perch to the next. I wondered how my weight would be supported on the tiny flat floating steps that supported his slight weight. Then I was gathering them one by one with each reaching stroke of my arm. I was not aware yet that I was no longer swimming in water, but standing in moist sand. Small golden oval leaves gathered at my feet and began to swirl around my toes and ankles. Dawn appeared as a thread of light on the horizon.

"It is yours to use as you need". I looked up startled by the toad's voice and saw the boat he was looking at. It was a small craft of periwinkle blue trimmed in lavender. Suddenly he turned and jumped capturing an entire spider web with spider and prey in his mouth. Turning his head to look back at us one more time, I heard the chime of a bell as he winked his parting wish for our good travel.

Sophia's Garden 4

From night blue to velvet green I slid then fell to the fish below.
Preparing myself with a deep breath, ready to fall into the water, a wind embraced me from the west. I was passed from the tree branch to the river bank with gentle care, as though mother carried me and lay me down in a cradle of grass, whispering, "She makes me lie down in green pastures, leading me beside stilled waters". I rested in the grass blanket. I inhaled the sweet breath of the water and green growth. Sophia and I hand in hand. Sophia and I walked the same path.

Sophia's Garden 3

My feet began to adjust to the cold dampness. I was feeling ready to step into the darkness. Suddenly I felt a welcome warmth on my calves, a furry warmth that made me look down in fear even though the sensation was calming. "I am Sophia's friend", said the dog who was smaller than a wolf. "She has sent me to lead you to the Garden". " I really don't need your help" , I said as I looked into the darkness knowing that my garden was less than 60 feet away.
"But look deeper Dear One", said the warm dog. "There are many hidden barriers and steep falls ahead. Walk with me and steady your self at my side".
Sure enough Sophia's dog had given me fair warning. I was surprised to feel a wall that I could neither remember building in my yard, nor see at that moment. My toes were fumbling over sharp stones. Just as I was about to fall the dog guide broke my fall while towing me into a gentle river current. "There is no river in my backyard" I thought. "Why should you care", she whispered. Before I knew what had happened I was in a cedar tree looking down on the river. I had no idea where Dog had gone. I was distracted from thinking further about Dog. Below I saw a ballet of fish. The fish were all sizes and shapes and swam in radiant circles. There were five or seven fish in each circle forming a fish halo. The fish were facing each other and appeared to speak or sing to each other as their gills and lips opened and closed in breathing rhythm.

Sophia's Garden 2

When I opened my eyes to the dark silvery light I saw a fullness that I hadn't seen in the backyard the day before. Had it been more than a day since I looked at my own backyard? ( We have also admitted to each other that our memory capacity seems eschew these days).
I was about to put my garden shoes on when I felt an inner nudge to get out into the garden before dawns light. The ground felt damp and cold but I didn't let my stumbling steps stop me from going to the garden. When had this lush growth happened? The grass was knee high, thigh high in some places. There was a walkway that was overgrown with arching grasses. Next to the walkway I spotted a pool surrounded by grasses as tall as me. I wanted to run back to my studio for my camera to capture this amazing surprise. But I could not stop searching for more surprises and my work was rewarded. Under the arching grasses I saw white with red tipped irises. Next to the tree I saw a large leafed velvet blue plant I thought had died. There were star shaped pink penny blossoms at arms height. There were short stem roses barely higher than my toes.
What a treasure of a surprise in my own garden!

Sophia's Garden 1

"What a mess Sophia"!
It was the loudest whisper I had ever heard. I looked up from my cot and rolled into a sit position as I rubbed my eyes to see who was talking. A dream? Maybe. But I get up anyway and the time is again familiar and unwelcome. How many of us now have confessed to this strange ritual of waking before dawn? We all admit the same thing.."My mind is racing in a stream of speed and chaos that will not settle down. So I get out of bed and walk into the silent emptiness between moonrise and sunrise".
The remedies are as unsatisfying as the interrupted sleep. Less coffee. But I love coffee.No chocolate? Now that's just mean. More exercise and make sure you sweat. Okay, that makes sense. More hormones, not the synthetic kind. Try yam progesterone. Really? Yeah, it works. And fish oil, lots of fish oil. But what about the mercury? Naps? No Naps!
" Peace, just find some peace with this".
Is that you Sophia?
"Yes, dear. It's just growth that's all. Like your newborn baby's lack of a
sleeping pattern. Remember how tiring that chaos was? Like your seventh month of being pregnant ,you wanted to see your baby but didn't want the efficient intimate nest in your womb to go away".
You're right, thank you Sophia.
Breathe slow and deep and pray, Peace.
It is good. Peace. It will be okay. Peace.